Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk #5: Things Get Surreal…

Hey, everyone… Welcome once again to the weekly (or more) review of your friendly Wolverine issues. This week we have one of the by far weirdest comics I have had the pleasure to read in a long time. Without further “adieu”:

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #5 cover Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk #5
(preview | thread)
Writer: Damon Lindelof
Penciler: Leinil Francis Yu

SPOILERS BELOW…

Part One: In Which Logan Pisses Off a Panda – Logan gets to spend some quality time with his spirit guide while in between life and death. Unfortunately for both of them it is a Panda that does not like to be called cute. During the inevitable brawl, the Panda gives Logan some good advice. Do not mention anything about She-Hulk from last issue or anything Logan might have heard during the fight.

Part Two: In Which Logan Loses his Head – We find out why Logan was hallucinating. He is a prisoner of Nick Fury in Triskelion and he is only a severed head. He is managing to breathe through his skin and even survived a total vacuum. How he manages to talk is anyone’s guess. But he does get interrogated by Nick Fury about what happened during the Hulk/She-Hulk fight. This apparently ended when Fury nuked the whole area. Logan sticks to his Panda’s advice and does not reveal any details right up until Fury shoots him in the head.

Part Three: In Which We Once Again Flash Back in Time to Explain Things – We see the fight from Logan’s perspective as he’s putting his body back together. Hulk and She-Hulk either fight or have sex or both. He reveals some details including She-Hulks profession of Love just before the Hulk smashes the nuclear missile.

Part Four: In Which Logan Makes a Valuable Ally in His Toilet Bowl – Logan, once again a whole person, is shackled in the prison of the Triskelion which is a room with no doors. He’s not in there long before the mutant inventor Forge shows up in his toliet trying to escape. Forge has invented a tuning fork which allowed him to phase and was using the plumbing to flee. With a little motivation he takes Wolverine along for the ride. Returning to Forge’s base, he makes Wolverine two unbreakable collars, one for a male and the other for a female. Then Wolverine reveals the final piece of information, where the Hulk was going.

Part Five: In Which Logan Ignores the Panda’s Advice and Thusly Screws Himself Good at the End of the Issue – We see, from Fury’s point of view, Wolverine telling Forge that he is going to Casablanca. Which sets up the conflict for next issue with Wolverine, Fury, Hulk and She-Hulk all descending on the unsuspecting town.

MY TAKE:  This issue was quite simply insane, but entertainingly so. It did not make a whole lot of sense but I certainly found myself smiling quite a bit while reading it. To say that it strained credibility even for comic book would be an understatement of gigantic proportions. In the issue we saw Wolverine survive a nuclear blast at ground zero, become a literal talking head and be saved by a mutant from the commode. But of course all of this pales to comparison of Wolverine having a Panda for a Spirit Animal.

On a more practical note, I am glad that this series has finally moved forward. While all of the back story and set up has been entertaining, I have been waiting for Wolverine to be put back together since issue 1. The series is called Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk and so far we have seen very little fighting between the two. There has been plenty of discussions, the introduction of a new character or two and a lot of reasons to want to beat up Nick Fury, but not much slashing and bashing.

To that end I could have done without a lot of the weirder aspects of this story in favor of getting to the actual conflict. But it was hard not to be amused by the story that was put together. While I do hope next issue is a bit more action oriented, I almost do not care any more about the fighting. After this issue I have no clue how it is going to end next month but I will certainly be there to read it.

Thanks for reading my review for Wolverine Files. I will be keeping to this format for the most part but please keep the comments coming and I will see everyone again next week if not before.

Facebook comments:

  1. The sex crazed Hulk is kind of annoying.

    It’s definitely a whole different take on the characters most of us are familiar with.

    As for conflict , I suppose there can’t be any real challenge for the Hulk since he’ll always try to rip Logan apart. What is annoying is that he doesn’t defeat any of the other heroes nearly as easily. Why haven’t we seen him tear Captain America in half or at least attempt to?

    But, I’m just nit picking here. ^_~

  2. Well we’ve seen time and time again that they subject Wolverine to more abuse because he can survive it. I agree to not be as fond of the Ultimate Hulk but I can accept that if you had a character that was truly controlled by the Id, violence would not be the only thing he craved.

    Following the normal trend with the Hulk being so strong at the being of the series I’m sure the end will have Wolverine getting a much better showing.

  3. Yep, Hulk seems more and more like a demonic monster we might see in Ninja Scroll or some type of Japanese Hentai.

    I don’t let it bother me too much because the Ultimate Universe is becoming smaller and smaller. It’s a different take on Wolverine and I’m cool with that.

  4. It will be interesting to see what happens with the Ultimate Universe that for certain. This series started long before Ultimatum was announced so the whole thing is potentially telling for the direction it was planned to go. Hopefully they will adjust some of the characters and abilities after that series if nothing else. Possibly there won’t even be a Hulk running around and if there is he might be strongly changed.

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